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Trailing spouse syndrome

USA : British Expat Discussion Forum - britishexpats.com
Just less than a year ago the opportunity arose for my husband to work in the Philadelphia office for 3 years. I was fully onboard with this, as I felt strongly this presented a fantastic opportunity for all of us.

Once we'd made the decision to go, obtained our E2 visas and told our friends and family it was all go. Never once did I question whether it was the right thing to do for us.

This is what I knew before we left;

- Hubby and I were solid. He's my best friend. If I have problems I'll tell him and I expect the same from him. I'm an extrovert, he's an introvert.

- Our children's schooling was our priority, and we were very pleased to secure private school funding for them for the 3 years.

- I was leaving my PhD study (not possible to do it remotely) but I was only 5 months in, and this was too good an opportunity.

- I'm a registered nurse in research but I wasn't going to register in the US, it would be logistically too difficult.

- I was apprehensive that for the first time I was going to be financially dependent upon my husband.

- As an extrovert I am not afraid to make friends

So we've been here 6 months, the Christmas decorations have been put away, the kids have gone back to school with renewed energy and, thank goodness, they've made friends. Although they do have alot of homework they're happy. My husband has spent the last week busy back in the UK office.

Suddenly, I'm feeling at a loss. I'm not homesick. But I am feeling discontent and I can't quite put my finger on exactly why. The kids are happy, which was always my priority. Hubby is happy, which of course so much hinged on. Even our dogs are happy with more space. Our house is beautiful. In November we met another expat family who had just come out in an almost identical situation and I'm so grateful, but I can't offload onto such a new friendship.

I've joined a running club and met some lovely people there, but then again these are new, tentative friendships.

My husband knows I'm not quite right and he doesn't know what to do. He's worried that I have given up my career and now I'm losing my drive and focus.

I know I need to stay strong to support the kids and my husband but I'm afraid I'm losing a seam of enthusiasm that was present throughout last year.

Any ideas please?


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